Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
