pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
