You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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