I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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