you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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