So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
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dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
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You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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