He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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