if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
