Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
