whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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