you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
