I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
