either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
