if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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