omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
