Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
