Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
