I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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