Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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