We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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