Texts From Last Night

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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.

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  (507): So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game. http://tfl.nu/nypl
  Replies (58) Good night (847) Bad night (3906)
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  (916): View more from California

  she's into porn, im staying here tonight

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  (916): she's into porn, im staying here tonight http://tfl.nu/jlgw
  Replies (31) Good night (6855) Bad night (811)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.

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  (612): My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell. http://tfl.nu/g9t5
  Replies (22) Good night (4146) Bad night (1119)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.

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  (503): Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab. http://tfl.nu/if5q
  Replies (14) Good night (888) Bad night (3490)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  You took a bar mat shot.

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  (772): You took a bar mat shot. http://tfl.nu/02d5
  Replies (11) Good night (890) Bad night (2801)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?

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  (616): Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive? http://tfl.nu/dksl
  Replies (3) Good night (1933) Bad night (678)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?

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  (416): Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it? http://tfl.nu/zi0h
  Replies (6) Good night (3846) Bad night (1228)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..

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  (785): this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car.. http://tfl.nu/jqo1
  Replies (5) Good night (781) Bad night (3117)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.

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  (941): Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila. http://tfl.nu/0941
  Replies (6) Good night (1314) Bad night (570)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  I'm out of town so we should be golden.

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  (419): I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me. (1-419): I'm out of town so we should be golden. http://tfl.nu/4amm
  Replies (5) Good night (2261) Bad night (524)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.

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  (208): Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me. http://tfl.nu/44ip
  Replies (8) Good night (1514) Bad night (628)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.

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  (919): It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake. http://tfl.nu/4cm4
  Replies (9) Good night (535) Bad night (1199)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.

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  (561): I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/c2xb
  Replies (11) Good night (422) Bad night (1223)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?

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  (317): Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..? http://tfl.nu/l259
  Replies (2) Good night (822) Bad night (394)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.

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  (870): Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world. http://tfl.nu/aaq7
  Replies (2) Good night (439) Bad night (594)

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