so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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