Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(225): View more from Louisiana

he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?

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(225): he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel? http://tfl.nu/f7r7

Replies (40) Good night (1297) Bad night (3388)
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(303): View more from Colorado

and next time when you feel me up, do it right

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(303): and next time when you feel me up, do it right http://tfl.nu/7fkv

Replies (21) Good night (797) Bad night (3817)
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(510): View more from California

You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...

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(510): You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock... http://tfl.nu/jcau

Replies (236) Good night (1070) Bad night (3847)
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(207): View more from Maine

she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race

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(207): she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race http://tfl.nu/f3bd

Replies (17) Good night (708) Bad night (3494)
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(845): View more from New York

i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.

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(845): i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning. http://tfl.nu/8v63

Replies (19) Good night (1093) Bad night (6093)
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(407): View more from Florida

Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.

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(407): Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast. http://tfl.nu/8b17

Replies (11) Good night (5485) Bad night (1317)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.

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(256): Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence. http://tfl.nu/20hw

Replies (6) Good night (2471) Bad night (1139)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.

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(504): All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup. http://tfl.nu/pyk9

Replies (3) Good night (1773) Bad night (1180)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?

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(832): Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones? http://tfl.nu/bhpj

Replies (7) Good night (2406) Bad night (1043)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library

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(404): Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library http://tfl.nu/areb

Replies (5) Good night (2270) Bad night (600)
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(646): View more from New York

He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.

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(646): He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that. http://tfl.nu/szno

Replies (7) Good night (1374) Bad night (712)
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(301): View more from Maryland

That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?

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(301): That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit? http://tfl.nu/b6j9

Replies (1) Good night (933) Bad night (496)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink

(815): View more from Illinois

I care about my drink far more than her feelings

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(507): I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink (815): I care about my drink far more than her feelings http://tfl.nu/v6if

Replies (3) Good night (1691) Bad night (525)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.

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(616): I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit. http://tfl.nu/as8y

Replies (1) Good night (938) Bad night (351)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.

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(414): wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me. http://tfl.nu/3pdz

Replies (0) Good night (851) Bad night (343)

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