I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
