you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
