Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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