Where did you get a picture of my penis
another moral hangover. fuck.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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