You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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