im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize