I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
im on a boat
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