you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
