y did u give ur computer a hand job?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize