fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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