I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
