But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
well you can't waste a boner
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
