Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
