hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
