Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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