try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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