Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
