I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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