You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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