i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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