Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
