toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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