I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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