Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
