Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
