Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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