Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
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I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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