I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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