Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
