tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
did you just send me my own nude
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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