the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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