U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
