I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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