Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
